The wonderful Peace of God that passeth all understanding........

"And the peace of God that trancends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7 (NIV) I know I don't post on this blog very much like I should. I know there are so many watching our journey to bring JD home and so many praying. I really felt led to write a little tonight. Tonight I am thankful. I am thankful for God's peace in times of uncertainty and I am thankful for His joy which is my strength. This has been a rough week emotionally for me. Many of you know that we are at the final stage of our adoption and thought JD would be home by now. The US government had seemed to turn my world upside down and at one time we thought they might want us to start over. Through God's favor and the help of our congressman and our orphanage director they decided we would just have to get a couple amendments on a few documents and not have to get totally new ones done. They have been very kind and compassionate and want to work with us any way they can. I was so relieved, then I spoke to my lawyer who had to give us worse case scenerio (which any lawyer would state up front) and stated that if she couldn't get amendments to these documents and would have to get new ones that we are looking at at least another year. My heart sank, my world felt like it was spinning again and I was hit with deep despair. (NOTE: that is only the worst case scenerio and I rebuke that in the name of Jesus, we will have FAVOR in the name of Jesus and get these amendments quickly) Still the thought of those words sickened me. I hit a low. Then the news came that many families were getting visa appointments and their kids were coming home in the next couple weeks.Most started several months after we did. I love these families, I love these children and I am so ecstatic for all of them, but at the same time my arms physically ache for JD to be home now. It was so bittersweet and I kept asking "Why not JD, God....why????" Friday night I had the house to myself. I honestly wanted to take Tylenol pm and cry myself to sleep if I am being honest, but God had other plans. I cried ALOT, I prayed ALOT and I read ALOT. I have tried to be the picture of faith for 3 years. I have tried to be so strong but I am human and I have had some melt down moments. Some have understood the down times but when I am weak I have felt a lot of condemnation and failure that I haven't been strong enough. The thoughts poured in that Maybe it's something I am not doing or I haven't had enough faith, what lesson am I not getting that is keeping my son home? I have prayed, I have fasted, I have cried out to God. What is it????? God led me to Psalms and I read Psalm after Psalm of cries out to God in desperation, cries out to God from pits of despair from David the man after God's own heart. God showed me it's ok to love my son so much it hurts, to cry sometimes, to be weary and desperate sometimes as long as I don't live in that place. I am human, I am a momma and it doesn't seem fair, it hurts to miss out on my son's life. If I didn't hurt this bad for him then what kind of mommy am I? I love him, he is mine. God called me to be his momma, He called me to love him this much. God understand my cries, He understands my hurt and I am not a failure. The Bible even says there is a time to weep, I just can't stay in that place of despair but make sure to turn those cries into praise and trust and hope in a Savior that has me and my WHOLE family in the palms of His hands! I may never understand His plan but I know His ways are perfect and His will will prevail! I know He is perfecting everything that concerns me, my husband and ALL four of my children! He is working where I don't see, on me and on this adoption. What a breakthrough spiritually this has been. Today I have peace, today I have joy. We had a wonderful church service, the weather was beautiful, I got to see and talk to my beautiful son on skype, spend time at my momma's with my amazing family and then tonight went on a "date" with my mommy and brother and soon to be new sister. I had an amazing day, I was not sad, I have peace, I have hope and I have joy! For this I am so thankful......... Please keep on praying all of you prayer warriors! Pray for me and my mommy heart, pray for JD, pray for our family. Please pray for favor in EVERY office and court system that our lawyer has to talk to, that they will have compassion, understanding and will issue these amendments quickly with no hesitation. Pray for any stronghold that would try to hold my son back and keep him from coming home to be broken in the name of Jesus! Pray that this week will bring wonderful news!!! Feel free to share this blog with all of your friend, put us on your prayer chains at church, spread the word, we want to have many prayer warriors standing in the gap and interceding for our son to come home! Thank you all for loving my son already and for praying him home! I will forever be thankful for each and everyone of you!

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19 Hello from Haiti! The above scripture has been going through my mind over and over since arriving yesterday. We are having an amazing time. Jean Daniel is perfect. I am trying to memorize everything about him. From his cute deep little voice to how he sings praise song with his mommy to his beautiful thick eyelashes, his cute chubby little feet and toes, his stinking cute laugh, to how he holds on tight to me and doesn’t want to be apart, to how he constantly calls out for me, on and on…every detail. I don’t want to forget anything. Our adoption and our bond with him is a total God thing. For both Eric and I, the moment he first met us he held on tight and completely captured my heart. I am completely in love with this precious little boy. Skype Sundays are wonderful but the JD that we talk to on those days is nothing like the JD in person. He has amazed me. He can count, sing his ABC’s, call us mommy and daddy and he LOVES to talk. In fact he never stops. I really need to learn Creole because I would love to know what he is saying. He does repeat so much that we say now and he is now saying I love you and so much more. He also loves to sing. We have had so many precious moments singing praise songs together. I love it. He is a worshipper. He looks up towards heaven when he sings too, it is amazing!!! He also is going to be a drummer, I just know it. He takes his toys and constantly beats them in different rhythms, it cracks me up. He is amazing and he is mine. I am pondering it all in my heart. I have so appreciated all the prayer that has gone up on our behalf in regards to our adoption. I am writing this blog entry as I watch my precious boy sleep. I am asking all you prayer warriors to please intercede. Tomorrow we have an appointment to see the dean in the court. This is a very important meeting. Please pray for favor. Please also pray that they contact his bio mom and she comes tomorrow. If they would not locate her she would have to come back another day and that would add time to when he comes home. I don’t want anything to hold him back. Please, please pray. Wednesday we have an appointment at the US embassy to file some paperwork. This is also a very important meeting. You can also pray for favor with all of the government officials. Lastly pray for our hearts. I know JD will be home in a few short months but I can’t even fathom leaving him here in a few days. It breaks my heart. Please pray for strength and peace. Please also pray for strength and peace for JD’s heart. He hasn’t wanted us out of his sight since we have been here. I don’t want him to think we have abandoned him. Pray that angels surround him and comfort him and give him peace and that he knows he has a family that loves him. Pray that after we leave that he even dreams about us and feels our love and feels God’s love every minute of every day until we are together again. I know God has done that so far. It has been a year and a half since I was here last and it seemed like no time had passed when he saw us yesterday. We were showing him pics of his brothers and sisters and I pointed to Jacqueline and said Sissy. Jacqueline was with me when I went to Haiti 19 months ago. Instead of repeating sissy he said Jacqueline. It was amazing. He knows his family. God is so faithful. Please intercede with us. God is a defender of the fatherless, there are many scriptures that prove it. Please pray them out loud with us. Psalms 10:14 ….thou art a helper of the fatherless. James 1:27 (amp)External religious worship (religion as it is expressed in outward acts) that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world. Those are just a couple scriptures. There are more. I am claiming them on behalf of my son. That God would move swiftly and mightily on our behalf. That we would have supernatural favor on every step of the remaining part of our adoption and that we will be amazed at how quickly he comes home and until that day comes that he will hold all of us in his loving arms and give us comfort, strength and peace. Will you pray with us too?

Recapping the past two years and The long awaited email arrived!!

Wow, First of all let me say that I am going to be a lot better about updating this blog. I also want to apologize because it has been so long, I am sure this will be very long! So much has happened since the first post which seems such a long time ago now. 2 years has gone by since we started this roller coaster ride. There have been ups and downs, joy and sorrow, but yes if given the choice I would do it all over again. My precious little boy is worth all of it.

Since I last blogged I met our precious son face to face. It has been a whole year and a half since that moment. There were quite a few people upstairs at the orphanage while we waited for JD to toddle up the stairs. Our church group was there with cameras ready to catch the moment and boy was it a moment. In the midst of all the people JD came right to his momma. The camera snapped at the exact moment where mommy and son looked at each other with the biggest smiles you can imagine as I am holding him in my arms for the first time. He then looked over and saw his big sister. For the next several minutes he wanted to go back and forth between the two of us. It was an absolute God moment. Total confirmation that this was my son. Those precious few days with him will forever be in my heart. I want to memorize every detail about him from his beautiful eyes to his chubby little fingers, his curly hair and his cute little feet. I wanted the pictures to remain etched in my heart because I knew that once I left I didn't know how long it would be until I saw him again. Leaving was heartbreaking, little did I know it would be a whole year and a half until I would get to see him again.

After we left Haiti we worked so hard to get our dossier ready and to get the funds to send it to Haiti. God provided everything we needed and less than a month after we came home it was on it's way to Haiti. The whole process is very confusing to me even in the midst of it so I will spare all of you some of the details. October 2010 is when our paperwork hit Haitian soil. In July 2010 our paperwork went to IBESR (Haitian social services) which is the longest most tedious step. We have biological children so according to Haitian law the President of Haiti has to sign a waiver which is called a Presidential Dispensation, this happens during the time you are in IBESR.

This part of journey has been very hard and emotional. I've spent months Checking my email multiple times a day, praying fervently, crying and pleading with God to please move on our little boy's behalf. I don't know how many times Eric saw me checking my email, each time he said "Don't you trust God?" My answer: "It's because I do trust God and I know that He is able that I check my email, I know our good news will be there!"

The Joyous Day Arrived!!
Finally last Friday an email popped up on my phone with the words I had waited almost 9 months to here. It was from our lawyer stating she just left IBESR and they had a list of dispensations and on that list was JEAN DANIEL LABAT!!! Needless to say I yelled "oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh" ( I just happened to be in the restroom at work lol) I really don't think my smile has left for very long since receiving this news!!

So this is where we are now. We are waiting for a call any day to let us know that we need to come to Haiti to appear. I am so excited to see my little boy and hold him and love on him and let him know that he is coming home soon. We can't bring him home this time. We still have another process after that that takes a couple months and then he will get his visa and passport and then he will come home. Finally, we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! We went out and bought some things for his birthday and Easter and some clothes for him for when we go to Haiti. I walked through the store and the tears kept threatening, good tears. Finally, it was getting closer and finally it seemed so much more real, He is coming Home!!

Thanks to all of you who have prayed for us and encouraged us and even cried with us.We appreciate all of your prayers very much! Please continue to pray that the rest of the process will fly by and soon he will finally be Home! I promise to be better about blogging and keep all of you informed on our last leg of the journey, the journey Home!

Beauty from Ashes

..and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3


I have wanted to start a blog about our journey to adopt our beautiful little boy Jean Daniel for a while but I really feel strongly that I need to start from the beginning and let you know how we got on this journey. You see this is the beginning of the beauty that has come from the ashes of my life. The year 2009 was the most difficult and most heartbreaking year of my life. It didn't start that way though. In fact it started as one of the best years.Eric and I have always talked about adoption and we both knew that we would adopt some day. For years after we had Jennessa I wanted to have another child. We talked about adoption again but I thought it would be way beyond our means to be able to afford it. I saw adoption agencies and their prices. So,we agreed to start trying and the first month boom I was pregnant. I found out on Feb.10, 2009 which happened to be my birthday. I told my parents right away.I grew up as a PK (Pastor's kid) the oldest of nine in a very close family. I was blessed to have wonderful Godly parents. I could not have asked for better parents. So, they were the first to know. My dad was absolutely thrilled. That day he would not hear of us waiting to tell anyone, in fact he got on the phone and called everyone he could think of. I can't explain the joy he had when he talked about his new grandbaby to be. He had been sick with liver problems and had a rough year. He had just been placed on the liver transplant list and was waiting for the transplant. This day he felt pretty good and got to go out to eat with us and celebrate my birthday and my news. My mom gave me a rose at lunch and when we left Olive Garden a kind elderly man stopped me and said "Honey that rose is beautiful but it doesn't compare to the beauty in you" It was a beautiful day. The kind of day that you feel like God is confirming how much he loves you everywhere you go. One week later, it all came crashing down. On the evening of Feb.16 I started spotting. I panicked and picked up the phone to call my parents...my pastors. That night my mom had called and said dad wasn't feeling the greatest so when I called she answered. My dad asked her what was going on and asked to talk to me. He prayed with me and said "Nicki, the same God you pray to all the time for me and trust to heal me is the same God that is touching your baby" That was the last time I talked to my precious daddy. Around 1 am my mom called from the squad on her way to the hospital with my dad. He coded that night but after much prayer his heart started beating again. He was on the vent and moved to CCU. I continued spotting. The next afternoon I found out my baby had went to heaven. We spent that day praying over my dad and singing praise music in my daddy's room. We held his hand and cried and told him how much we loved him. A little after 1 am my precious daddy who was my rock and my pastor went to heaven too. The same God that I prayed to took both of them to be with him. My baby whom my daddy was so thrilled about and my daddy went home together. I struggled for so long, how could I go from this perfect day where I thought that God was showering me with his love to nothing....I felt like it was a slap in the face. I was heartbroken and angry and so confused. Everything I was and knew felt like ashes. But God with his loving tender arms picked up the shattered pieces of my heart and shattered dreams and started putting them back together piece by piece. I see my beautiful mother walk into her calling and step up as pastor. I see her strength and beauty rise up when all her world was crumbled. I see my family drawing together like never before. We are loving each other through. My family and my aunts and uncles and my cousins all drew together and are now closer than ever before. I see God providing for all my mom's needs and is starting to heal her heart. I see our church body drawing together and growing stronger. I see beauty starting to form where ashes had been all around. Eric and I started to try to have a baby again. Month by month passed and nothing. I started to get discouraged and didn't understand. Then this past January the earthquake in Haiti hit. I felt such a stirring deep inside. I prayed and prayed and God spoke to my heart that we were to adopt. The day I knew that I knew it was God's will I started to talk to Eric about it but he stopped me before I started and said that He already knew. "Already knew what" I asked ....he said he knew we were to adopt a little boy from Haiti. God was speaking to both of our hearts at the same time. Every where we looked we had confirmation. Even the costs were different than I had thought. It was feasible for us. Then he led us to our precious little boy Jean Daniel. He is two years old and has captured our hearts. We cannot wait until he can come home to be with us. I am telling you all of this to let you know that sometimes life is not fair, even heartbreaking. It may seem like the rug is pulled from out of your feet and you don't understand. BUT God is faithful and he promised to perfect everything that concerns you. Even when we don't understand God is working. I still don't understand why my daddy had to go to Heaven at 57 years old but God does and he is doing such amazing things in our family and in our church. The personal and spiritual growth is amazing. My dad left an amazing legacy and it lives on.We didn't understand why we had the miscarriage, didn't understand why we couldn't get pregnant again, but God did. He had a beautiful baby boy already here and waiting for his daddy and mommy and his name is Jean Daniel. In our darkest hours He lifted us up, he held us in His hands and loved us and now He has made beauty from our ashes. I am excited for this journey, I am excited for what God has in store and I am excited to bring our beautiful little boy home someday soon.